Your teens have asked to go to a party in the home of a child with whom you prefer not to make contact. After telling them they didn`t want them to go, they launch an entire attack with tears and arguments that all their friends are going and that you are the strictest parents in the world. In response to this: The problem with this approach is that when it comes because of your mood, not your child`s needs, it can undermine their own motivation, partly doing well at school. You may argue that you will help your child be more independent if you do not help. But to say that they skip their homework when she really needs help is not the time to teach autonomy. If you are in a generous educational problem, you ask yourself, «What makes my child happy tomorrow, next week or ten years from now?» The answer may make you seem a little harsher right now, but you will know that you are acting with your deepest impulse, your love for your child. The problem is that strict, rules-based parenting can undermine the affection and communication that leave children and parents emotionally connected. When children are very young, strictly managed households can look pretty neat and admirable, but when children become teenagers and experience independence, they may be so afraid of their parents` distrust that they become mysterious. Authoritarian parents can also raise children who never learn to express themselves or to think for themselves – two skills essential in the world of work. But here are the facts: nearly 50 years of research have discovered that some styles of education are more effective than others and show much better results for children. Studies have identified four main education styles: permissive, authoritarian, authoritarian and hands-off. Among these styles, experts in child development have discovered that the most important educational style is the most effective in raising children, who are both academically strong and emotionally stable. But the truth is that most parents do not fall comfortably into this species or any other species; Instead, we are usually a combination of several styles of education.
The trick is to be flexible enough for you to adapt to your basic type – adapting your education style by applying some good practices in other styles. Are you often the parent who chooses B? You are not alone. Permissive parenting is on this day full schedules, harried two-working families, and the feeling that we simply can`t have enough time with our children. We love him to death! Why do we have to say no to the entire flowering period? On a rainy day, your 11-year-old son asks not to go to his meeting because it`s raining and he really doesn`t want to go. On the one hand, it is not a school job. On the other hand, you`ve noticed that your son has spent more time «hanging up» lately, not really using his time, saying he`s too sick for school if you don`t agree, and basically, he avoids anything that takes unpleasant effort. In response, you: C. say, «I understand you don`t want to go, and I know the feeling of doing something you don`t want, but that`s exactly why I want you to go.
Sometimes you want to avoid hard things, but it`s important to do things, even if they`re hard. You and your daughter have been shopping all Sunday, and you`re both coming home tired and weird. Your daughter has homework and she announces that she needs help despite your headaches. You say: have you ever been the parent who chooses D? Learning through experience focuses on hand-off or un involved parenting: they don`t protect your children from lessons that, of course, come from their mistakes. But it`s hard to know when we let our children make their own mistakes. In these times of stress or discomfort, it is really tempting to tell your children that you have had enough and that they are left to their own devices. For example, they would scratch the day they would talk to you and question your judgment.